Father O'Leary's Irish Cream cheap booze review
Let’s get one thing straight. Father O’Leary’s Irish Cream is nasty.
The first thing to alert the wary is price. This costs $7.00. However you, the trembling lurching parody of a human being you are, need some loose change to buy something token at the supermarket while you steal steak and a Continental packet mix so your girlfriend will keep thinking you have a job. So you purchase it with jerky, harrassed movements. Top value.
The next thing to power up the radar is the plastic coating on the bottle. The pleasant milky brown colour is this brown shrink wrapped layer that blocks all possible light and thus reders the foul content’s true appearance secret. But you only have ten minutes before she starts to get sus and you need something to face the stark, bitter lies, so checking it is out of the question in the windswept park near your house. Points deducted here.
The mixture is surprisingly milky, in a watery kind of way. The overriding flavour is that of coffee. The milky nature means the liquid is less prone to splash and thus keeps time with your jerking gullet admirably. However the bottle has this weird bottom heavy shape and sometimes you have a bit of trouble really chugging the shit like it deserves. Finally you place your lips over the entire end, sucking it out like an animal as you check for onlookers in the rapidly falling gloom. Excellent drinkability.
The inert, bland nature of the liquid leaves your struggling stomach free of excess gasses and as you debate if you should leap the fence like you used to then decide you’ve become too fat and use the gate, the alcohol begins it’s drip into your system just like the whole exercise was meant to do.
In all, Father O’Leary’s Irish Cream is a tolerable medium for the ingestion of alcohol.
5/10
