A survival guide for would be visitors

[More]

number 11.......

Don't tell anyone you're from Australia. They'll ask for Kylie's phone number, then start singing 'Land Downunder' in a very loud voice.

number 12 avoid cliches like the plague(!!)

Hows about 'Find any nice wine (they think Rosemount is quality!)' and 'Find any nice coffee (it's all Starbucks and Costa)'. Poor buggers.

7 Things Not To Do or Avoid In Sydney:

1) Try to buy vegetables; you'll need to remortgage your house to get them.

2) Drink the beer; it might be cold, but there's a reason they sell it at 1C - you can't taste it.

3) Watch TV; some of the worst televised pap you're ever likely to witness, and adverts every 3.5minutes. Unless it's ABC, in which case it's BBC material, with no adverts.

4) Read a paper; you'll get so annoyed by the self inflated, inwards looking, blinkered opinions, and the term un-Australian, it'll drive you to drink. See point 2.

5) Deal with the police; they generally make things worse by wading in with apartheid-like zealousy, flaunting their powers, and frequently causing riots.

6) Deal with bouncers; see point 5.

7) John Howard.

This article is a load of cliched shit. And not funny at all.

looking forward to reading yours Ichabod.....

I thought the ozzies ADORED the UK ?! The whole country can be compared to a pile of crap.

come on itchy butt, where's your story?

just dont go to london? the rest of england is much better

f*ck EUROPE

Are you serious, cobber? London has some of the finest markets in the first world for Joe Sixpack to pick up fresh veg. Maybe if you tried somewhere other than the 24 hour convenience stores you'd be able to find some.

most of this is a load of bull....

spookalilly: i live in sydney and buy my week's supply of fruit and veggies at paddy's markets with my spare change... pretty cheap!

It would be great if all Australians had the same opinion. There would be fewer of them in London.

I thought it was pretty funny.

sorry to disappoint you but I wrote it and I'm English. I do still love the mother country.....after all it leads the world in literature, music, art, etc......but whoever thinks London markets sell the best fruit and veg is kidding themselves.

Please no one take this piece of poop article seriously. London is the same as any capital city anywhere. Beautiful and ugly at the same time. But everyone loves it anyway.

I live in London and I like London and I thought this article was really hilarious. made me laugh out loud

Yeh, it's true in a way, but go anywhere in the world and you'd find variations on the same problems. it gives it character that's all. and I think we do extremely well considering how little space we have. ha,

you aussies are just jealous haha!